Do you find it difficult to protect your energy from negativity? You often get into quarrels and you end up involved in superficialities that serve you no good. After a while you can’t even remember what it was all about and why you got involved. But you still can’t resist getting engaged.
You may think that it’s difficult to let go of the drama. Modern world we live in with it’s fast paced rhythm, makes people oftentimes burn out, tired, grumpy and unable to see further from their nose. Failing to deal with the problems in the productive way, it’s not uncommon to unleash dissatisfaction on others. Although, you don’t have any control over other people’s behaviour. You can change things up internally. There’s something you can do, not to get affected.
For the sake of understanding I’ll use a fishing analogy.
When a fisherman hunts a fish, he needs to set 3 things right:
- Match the lure to the water colour
- Make sure the lure is attractive to the fish
- Make sure lure is swimming in a lifelike manner
When the fish bites the lure, he can’t just pull the rod out as hard as he can, because the line will break and the fish will get away. Instead he needs to loosen the line bit by bit, allowing the fish to drag it.
Fish may get the illusion of getting free.But that’s not what’s happening. The pulling is making the fish tired and unable to twitch and break free.
When the fish gets tired of pulling, the fisherman starts dragging the fish outside of the water. In that manner, the line is always moving, fish is always pulling and there isn’t a breaking point. For a fisherman, only a certain catch.
Getting involved in drama it’s like this, it’s a set trap. Only way to avoid it – is not to fall for a bait in the first place.
Even with the best intention to protect your energy from negativity, it’s inevitable for the stress to build up over time, however there are 3 things you can do to get the most out of every situation.
1.Don’t respond to provocations or arrogance.
You can’t change how someone behaves, what they think about you. But you can choose how you react to it.
Somebody once asked Buddah – “ Master, why do you never respond to the insultus”? Buddha replied: “What happens when someone wants to give you a gift but you refuse to take it? The person gets the gift for himself”-
Although it’s sometimes difficult to withhold the answer. Don’t fall for it.
This type of behaviour feeds itself on reaction from others. Once a reaction is omitted you take its power, and it ceases to exist.
2.Don’t get affected by someone else’s behaviour.
What others say about you or react to you, is just how you relate to what they are going through in their own lives.
When people are arrogant and mean that has nothing to do with you.
And while it might frustrate you, if you respond in the same manner you will only stoop to their level. Sometimes it might be difficult for you not to react. Think of it as a worm on a hook. You know what’s gonna happen if you bite.
As Winston Churchill famously said: “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”
3.Sometimes to win is not to play the game
Sometimes you’ll have to prove your point. Hold to your principles in order to protect your interest. That’s fine. But oftentimes there’s a situation where the best thing is not to get involved. For example, it’s best to avoid discussion about politics, religion, global warming and sports events altogether. There’s a chance that folks who bring these things up are enjoying heated arguments and aren’t usually willing to accept that there’s a different point of view than their own.
You should also avoid justifying yourself to others. if you believe that something is right for you. That you are changing your life for the better, you should follow your belief. Not everybody is going to support you, some will even think that you are dumb. You don’t owe an explanation to anybody. It’s your life. If somebody isn’t ok with it, leave it be. That’s fine.
Conclusion plus bonus tip:
One more thing to be careful of is drama and negativity that’s happening online. Although it seems that we should react to anything that’s going on. Share it on social media, share our opinions, call somebody out. If you are not careful, you will be stressed even more. If you read news or react to mass media hysteria on a daily basis. It’s even worse than engaging in unnecessary quarrels. It’s like carrying negativity in your pocket, since you have your smartphone at all times with you. What you see and hear might affect you in a bad way. That’s because its intention is to provoke. If you engage with that content as soon as you wake up and again later before going to bed. It affects your day and determines how you feel. So if you feel overwhelmed with negativity and you can’t detect where its source is. This might be your problem. If it is, you are lucky because you can solve it right away. You stop doing it.